Light in Darkness

My dear child,

Sometimes we are tested with adversity and tribulation..most of the time they are just minor ones and we can handle them with ease InsyaAllah..

But sometimes they are monstrous and life changing..tests that we could not solve..or it seems to be..

Just remember that Allah have arranged everything perfectly and at the darkest moment we will see the tiniest light that we could not see when it is bright..

And afterwards..remember to always help those who is going through what we have gone through..

“Only someone who was lost will show you the way”

Rise against Racism…

Years of living outside Malaysia taught me that racism is the worst kind of stupidity.

Post GE13 there are some quarters that are trying to promote something that I see as “Nazi” like factions in the Malay community.
They are trying to divide the country into two via “us”versus “them” ideology, spreading worthless facts and testimonials(come on..anyone can make up one).

The mainstream media have brought out their worst yesterday with their most Racist headlines ever(though they can still go worse at this rate) complete with pictures and quotes.
If they think that is good journalism,some of the editors should be sent to school again,from kindergarten…my daughter’s daycare are excellent at this too..

But there is hope,the rise of the real “Middle Malaysia” is rampant too,younger people who actually went outside and became friends with each other are fighting for a united Malaysia without racial tension.

People are realising that they need to voice out too and yesterday it bring me to tears when I heard that some of my close friends(from different races) are actually joining organisations to promote racial harmony and they vouched to work together for a better nation.
After being shoved again and again with the racial propagandas from the media and “leaders”, they felt that is their last resort for the sake of everyone.

I hope there will be a proper NGO with no political affiliations formed soon,so that everyone who are against racism can rise and fight…make it “Us” versus “The Racists”, believe me that there are not many of them, at least not yet.
It is now our civil duty to speak up against racism whenever there’s a moron trying to bring it up..

Pray for the best…

I noticed that some of the Malay chauvinists are not even pure blood(from the way they look),I hear that sometimes they refer themselves as “contemporary Malays “.

As someone who can trace my Malay lineage for at least 20 generations this baffles me,and I suggest that they should take DNA tests to prove that they are actually a Malay before claiming to be one and prosecuting others for not being one..I offer my blood for the control..
I am a Malay and I am against racism..

A glance post GE13…

The election is over…and we have to move on.
At first glance the results doesn’t seem to be much different than before but still as a nation we have changed:

1) Results shows that we are moving towards a two party system,not the most effective democratic practice but better than what we had for the last 5 decades.Most independents/not associated to BN or PR lost their deposits.Though some very good politicians like Saifuddin Abdullah fell victim to the 2 party system,a great lost for us.

2) Racial politics are slowly being shunned off,some race based parties are nearly wiped off and unlikely to recover..ever..only their names will still be registered under ROS.

3) New generation of voters emerged, most of the young voters can explain the reasons of them voting,and healthy debates are rampant in social media (though some morons shows up once in a while in our news feed)

4) Political extremist are being purged out of politics,leaving mostly moderate@ pseudo-moderate candidates.I really hope the media will stop interviewing these morons…It’s not funny any more.

5) Most of the winners really had to fight for their seats,so no more cruising or idling till the next election,a plus for the people.

So,I do hope we can see more mature politics the next time around..and definitely more capable people leading the way..the gears have been greased and ready to turn any-time ..Be grateful that we are living in an interesting time!

of Banners and Posters and Women in Black…

In a few weeks there will be another general election in Malaysia and everywhere you will see banners,posters, and flags of all the political factions.

Actually,due to the uncertainty of election dates(previous government will never announce the dates until they are confident that they will win),the flags and poster wars are ongoing throughout the year,but when they announced the date,we will bombarded with more banners and posters.

Not knowing earlier about the dates also have been the gnawing problems of Malaysians,planning ahead around the election dates is very annoying,my friend’s wedding who had been planned for months coincidentally falls on that date,and some of my friends going to Umrah will miss the election too.I can’t imagine what problem it affects to people working in the Election Committee,no big plans for the whole year because the dates are always a mystery.I really hope whoever wins the election and becomes the next government will fix this issue.

Enough with politics,I’ve been hearing about them for months but recently I’ve met eye to eye with the Women in Black of Netherlands when we were out shopping at Groningen’s Grote Markt.


They are an organisation made of mainly Dutch women who are fighting for the Palestinian cause,I know most of them are not Muslims but to them,Palestinian issue are an issue of justice and human rights.Currently they are collecting a petition so that their government will block their trade with Israel.

One of them explained what it is about,”For us,the Israel government have not been respecting their peace treaty with all the recent attacks,we hope that we can collect enough signatures for our government to stop any trades with them as in the treaty,currently we are not only trading with them,but the taxes that our government imposing to them are also less than other countries.”My wife and I of course signed the petition.

We also learnt that they have been holding peaceful gatherings with banners,posters and placards explaining their cause in the vicinity of Grote Markt every other weeks at noon.Even when it is winter and snowing but the women in black also shows up.

I am writing this so that their cause will be more recognised(their website are in Dutch and their FB page isn’t collecting much fans) and hopefully their efforts will be fruitful.


Love like that..

My paternal grandparents were married for at least 90 years,and even though they did not show it much,I know they really loved each other,just a few hours apart will make them anxious.

When my grandfather passed away due to pneumonia,we could see how heartbroken my grandmother was and about 2 weeks later,she also succumbed to pneumonia.

Today is my second anniversary with my wife,and even though I doubt that we can surpass my grandparents time together but I pray that we can have the experience of marriage like they did.

But unlike during their time,we are living in a more challenging time,and maintaining a marriage and raising generation Alphas will present problems never seen before the Internet age.

May Allah bless us with happiness.

When you Understand..

My dear child..

There was a time when I was ignorant about the advantage of  being born and raised in a Muslim family,and then sent to Islamic schools untill I was 18..

To me what I learnt was mainly for passing exams..Tafsir,Hadith,Fiqh and even Arabic are just something I had to learn..not something I really wanted to learn….

What was missing is my understanding of it is human nature to believe in something greater than them..and to find purpose not just in this realm that they can perceive with their senses..


When I was in was about 10 years after the Soviet Union collapse,to some it is the fall of socialism and the rise of capitalism/consumerisme(which was worse)..but some might know that during that time..religions was nearly abolished,scrutinised and persecuted systematically..even Christian Orthodox priests was executed..and after decades,most of the people in USSR were atheists or agnostics…

But when freedom of religion and information was given back to the people..most of them chose to have one..I saw people choosing Buddhism,Hinduism and of course Islam..

I remember well how our mosque was empty when we were in our 1st years..the Jumaah prayers congregation will only make up 5,6 saffs..but at the end of my studies the mosque was so full each Fridays that if we were late..we had to pray on the stairs because it was so packed..Subhanallah..

  It was amazing to see how little knowledge they had before learning  and reverting to Islam and their stories and tribulations to become a Muslims are always inspirational..they understood what faith was and strived for it,while most born Muslims like me had the knowledge but not the understanding, so as much as they thought that  we were lucky to be born a Muslim,we realised how empty we were…


 Today after Jumaat prayers the Imam announced that a new sister is reverting to Islam…most of the congregates waited and listened to her bear witness that there is no God but Allah,and Muhammad is his Messenger..

There were a few seconds of silence after she finished her Syahadah..but it was promptly followed by Takbirs of everyone inside the Mosque..It was an amazing opportunity to be in that Majlis,eventhough I had been in similar ones before…

I could only imagine what it must have been for the Prophet and his Companions each time a new brother or sister reverted to Islam when it was at its early stages..


My child,

Ummi and Walid promise to give you not just Islamic knowledge,but also some guidance to understand your me that is the essence of bringing a child up..

And with this I pray that you will not be someone who gain knowledge just for the sake of exams and arguments,or worse an Alim who is silent in front of ones who possess power..


Tuan Natrah Zulaikha

Children are very observant and easily imprint whatever we do in their mind.

As parents we should always be on our best behaviour in front of our children and this will be easy if you are a nice person in the first place.

Here in the picture is Natrah trying to do what she always see us do..praying and cooking..her favourite toy is not the big purple dragon or the little teddy bear..but instead a pot..

Since having a child of my own I’ve always thought of making some of the posts in my blog like personal letters to my child(ren),inspired by Luqmanul Hakim..but I have not decided on the format and style yet,we’ll see insyaAllah..

Untill now my favourite quote for parents is:

“The way you talk to your children will be their innner voice”

I hope mine will be a warm comforting voice inside our child’s mind…


moved to Netherlands

My little family had moved to Holland on the 5th of November this year as my wife is pursuing her doctorate in pharmacogenetics.

The pathway to get here is quite challengging, as Malaysia is considered a third world country,so our visa processes is very tedious.

We are now living in Groningen,a city 200km from Amsterdam..also known as the student city because every 5 people in this city is a student and Dutch most bicycle friendly city.

For the time being I am a stay at home dad,but insyaAllah I will be working in a shipping company next happens that they suddenly wanted to hire a Malay speaking representative,a rare opportunity for a Malaysian as there are only 5 of us her in Groningen

Shifting profession is an eye opener,taking care of my daughter is a very hectic job and make me appreciate more the sacrifices that my mother made when she quit her job for me and my sister,and as an extrovert,she must have suffered not being able to hang out with people.I actually enjoy the peace and quiet whenever my daughter take her naps.

It has been about a month and a half and I think I got the knack of putting my daughter to sleep(humongous challenge),changing her diapers and playing with her.

But  I have a feeling that my daughter is an extrovert,because she is already bored with me and really enjoy herself whenever we have company or when we bring her to gatherings.sigh..

The people here is very nice and helpful and one thing that I observe is that they really like babies and children..each time we bring Natrah out there must be at least one person who will greet or at least wave at her..on the bus,at the bus stop,on the train,at the supermarket,Groningen people just love kids…

Even the owner of the house that we rent is a super nice lady and having experience renting houses in foreign country that is a big plus.Alhamdulillah..


Muhammad Janggut…

When I was studying in Volgograd there were a lot of people named Muhammad(it is ..the most popular name on earth),so we had to differentiate them with specific nicknames there was Muhammad Hazimi(my classmate and housemate)..Muhammad Yaman(doing his Phd in Dentistry)..Muhammad Tough/Gagah(a medical student from Morocco..we call him that because he was a teenage bodybuilder champion in Asia and still moonlights as a gym instuctor)

But here I want to tell the story of Muhammad Janggut(because he kept his beard long)

He was a regular atheist Russian living his life until one day…he read a collection of sayings by Rasulullah..he told us that it was just a small handbook of about 30-40 hadiths,but all the words spoke to his heart and he knew straight away that it was the truth.

He embraced Islam after a short time studying the deen and tried to live as the best Muslim that he could.He always had a smile on his face and each conversation with him will be filled with advices and hadiths that he loved so much(I think he memorised his handbook)

We met a lot of times because at one time he came and learnt the basics of Quran from Muhammad Hazimi.

One of the most memorable thing he said was in summer 2007 “If it isn’t a sin to hurt ourself..I would blind myself instead of having to look at a mahram’s skin”(Note: In summer Russian women wears the skimpiest clothes they own to escape the heat)

The last time I met him was in winter 2007..he stayed at our Kvartira because he was to take a train the next morning(we lived near the Vokzal/train station).

We couldn’t chat long because I’m studying for my finals the next day,but we learnt that he had just lost his taxi the week before in an accident and was then jobless,and instead of being devastated by it..he said “ I can do the thing that I always wanted to find and learn from scholars and maybe bring them to Volgograd to spread Islam”..he used all his money that he had for the trip…

May Allah grant His Blessings to Muhammad and grants us all the equivalent of his faith…


Lesson from Babushkas…

Russia is notorious for its cold winters…I personally survived-40 degree Celcius walking and commuting to class(Russian never think it was too cold to cancel lessons).

Walking around..I noticed spots around the old kvartiras(apartments) that have a basin or two,and after some observation I learnt that they were used by babushkas(old ladies) to feed the stray cats and dogs which surely will die if not fed in the harsh winters…

The babushkas are not rich,most of them are just living off their limited pensions,but still they have the heart to do stuffs like this..most of us dream of contributing big things to the society but their gesture s to helpless stray animals are genuinely honourable.

Recently I saw a few pictures of a auntie wearing a burka who feed stray dogs, some people were so impressed they made a FB page for her.

I myself tried to emulate these good deeds as much as possible,but the only thing I’m capable of doing for the time being is the occasional feeding of strays around my home both in Kota Bharu and Kuala Balah…

A cat named Justin Bibir(my wife’s idea)..suddenly appeared at my home in Kuala Balah stayed when we started to feed him.

A nameless cat,showing his skills as a hunter by presenting us a mouse in Kota Bharu


My daughter enjoying the sight of cats hanging around the house.The goat is not ours.